Kevin Everett

Compliments of Bionic Trey

ArenaBowl XXI

Baby...at a Liquor Store!

Another sign of the downfall of mankind. On the way back from a delicious sushi lunch at the Amura in Lake Mary, The Asian Beaver and I noticed a white Explorer weaving in and out of traffic and approaching from behind quickly. Basically, this person was driving like a dick. Suddenly, the White Explorer zoomed into the middle lane, passing us on the left (we were in the right lane, preparing to turn) and quickly slammed on the brakes to make an abrupt right turn into the Discount Liquor Store, where you can buy Playboy Magazines, as well as an assortment of liquor and tobacco products.

What's interesting and sad about this was the back hatch of the SUV was open and peering out at us was what looked to be a 1 year old baby, strapped into a car seat. The driver, a female wearing the classiest light colored jeans you can buy at Walmart, stepped out of the car and disappeared into the liquor store.

A couple of things:

1. Why the fuck is this white trash whore, exceeding the speed limit by at least 20mph, zooming in and out of traffic, with a newborn baby in the back?!?!?!?!?

2. The liquor store? The fucking liquor store? Is that where you were in a hurry to get too? Is there a sale on MadDog 20/20 that ends at 1pm? Do you need liquor that bad and that quickly, that you need to endanger your child and every other person on the road?

3. Leaving the child in the hot sun in the car while you went in to buy your pack of smokes and whatever alcoholic beverage you just HAD to have. Give me a break.

There needs to be limitations on breeding and Sanford might make for a great test market.

Asian Beaver saying Goodbye.

Seeing as this Friday is my last day, do I get to be a part of this "happenin' place" still?

Hot Dog Arthritis

Takeru Kobayashi of Japan, the hot-dog eating champ of New York City's Coney Island, may be out of commission for next week's annual July 4th contest.

The six-time winner, 29 (and, despite his yearly high-fat and sodium and carbohydrate gorge, a svelte 165 lbs.), has been diagnosed with arthritis of the jaw, he writes ruefully on his Web site, where he says: "My jaw refused to fight anymore ... [it] has abandoned the frontline."

According to Kobayashi's message, "Already I can't open my jaws more than just a little bit. There's no pain only if I open my mouth about enough for one finger. More than that is painful and I can't open it."

His situation puts a big question mark over whether he'll be able to compete to claim his seventh straight Yellow Mustard Belt next Wednesday, in the Independence Day contest sponsored by Nathan's Famous hot dogs. Last year Kobayashi – nicknamed "Tsunami" – won after devouring a then-world record of 53.75 wieners in 12 minutes.

"To tell the truth, I'm desperate about healing completely before the July 4 contest," says Kobayashi, adding that he's already sought treatment from a chiropractor.

Relief is not only at stake here, but pride. Earlier this month in Tempe, Ariz., Joey Chestnut, 23, of San Jose, Calif., beat Kobayashi's world record in a Coney qualifying event, the Southwest Regional Hot Dog Eating Championship at the Arizona Mills Mall, by eating 59.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes, the Associated Press reports.

Perhaps Kobayashi saw this day coming, as his blog also includes some harsh self-criticism. "I feel so ashamed that I didn't hear the alarm bells ringing in my own body," it says. "But with the aim of winning the title and setting a new record in my head, I couldn't stop my training regime so close to the competition."

He also blames himself for training so hard, including his diet of large quantities of cabbage and water to stretch his stomach – and which, he also says, rendered his mouth all but paralyzed.

HoopTV.net Dunk of the Summer

Rascal Flatts CD Countdown Clock

Dancing Owl

Kroelsch crashing AJ Hawks wedding

David Hasselhoff drunk

Ten Ways to Use LinkedIn

Ten Ways to Use LinkedIn

View Nick Begley's profile

CSU wideout lights up 4 year old

Scion Marketing

I came across this article today.

It's an interesting approach Scion (Toyota's little brother) is taking to gather information on their 20-25 "trend setter" crowd. Found it interesting to see what companies are doing these days to catch our attention.

Pollard's "Apology"

Cavs' Pollard apologizes for on-air remark
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2799905

CLEVELAND -- Cleveland Cavaliers center Scot Pollard looked into the camera during a recent game and said, "Hey kids, do drugs."

Pollard was sitting on the bench in street clothes when he made the remark during a 20-second timeout Sunday against Indiana. The Cavaliers didn't find it funny.

"We have spoken with Scot and certainly do not condone his actions," general manager Danny Ferry said in a statement Wednesday. "He regrets his mistake, using inappropriate humor, particularly when he has always been very involved in the community, projecting positive messages to our youth. We will handle the issue internally."

"It was a bad joke," Pollard said in Thursday editions of The Plain Dealer. "That's all it boils down to. There are a number of things people could say about it, but it just turned out it was a bad joke. Obviously, I don't believe that."

Pollard, who has played in only 17 games this season, was not available Thursday. He would be at practice Friday, the team said.

Classic Scot Pollard

Yes, he said it. "Hey kids...do drugs"

Morons in the News

JOHN EDWARDS ... SPOKESMAN FOR JESUS
Well, isn't this special! John Edwards is now not only a presidential candidate, but he's taken on the role of being a spokesman for Jesus.
Isn't this just wonderful? If John Edwards were to win in 2008 we would actually have a spokesman for Jesus Christ in the White House! How can we turn this incredible opportunity down?
Edwards was being interviewed for a Christian website called Beliefnet.com. During that interview Edwards made the following revelations:
Jesus would be appalled at how the United States has ignored the plight of the suffering.
Children should have private time to pray at school.
Jesus would be upset with the selfishness of Americans.
Jesus would be upset about our country's willingness to go to war "when it's not necessary."
Jesus would be upset with our focus on our own selfish short-term needs.
I guess we should all stop for a moment to thank John Edwards for sharing Jesus' thoughts with us. Somehow, though, I think that Jesus would understand that there is no country on the face of the earth that does as much for the suffering as does the United States. Jesus is also probably away that Americans give more money to worthy causes than the people of any other nation. I'm also not convinced that Jesus would feel that removing a bloody dictator -- a dictator guilty of mass murders, rapes and wholesale violations of human decency -- would be categorized as "unnecessary." There are some who might think that getting rid of Saddam Hussein was actually a very Christian thing to do!
Anyway ... it's nice to know that John Edwards would don the mantle of Jesus' spokesman in order to further his political goals.

Deaner's View: John Edwards is a moron!


THE SUN MIGHT BE WARMING THE EARTH Yup...that's the latest conclusion of those who dare to speak out against the Global Warming jihad. And there's new information that can't be making Al Gore happy. According to National Geographic News and a scientist...global warming is caused by.....the sun.
Imagine that! What have I been saying for years here?
Uh-oh....what now? Will Al Gore ever admit that he might have been wrong? Of course not...because the global warming movement has nothing to do with the environment...and everything to do with politics.According to the report, simultaneous warming of the Earth and Mars by the sun suggest that recent climate change may not be caused by man. As proof, the report cites a NASA report that says the polar ice caps are also melting on Mars. Uh-oh...time to pass a climate treaty for Mars. Those Martians obviously need to cut back on their driving and install solar panels. But remember .. only advanced industrial nations on Mars will be affected. Developing nations will be exempt. And there's more...scientists at the Danish National Space Center think global warming is caused by cosmic rays from exploded stars, not man. Are they right? Who knows. But the point is that there are reasonable people who disagree about global warming. This is something the media hides from the public. Anybody who dares to speak out against the global warming movement is derided as a Holocaust denier and a member of the Flat Earth Society. But back to that Mars thing....perhaps Al Gore could move there and run up the light bill.

Deaner's View: Global Warming is crap!


THE BARBIE BANDITS
Seems like I called this one.
Remember those two teenaged girls who "robbed" a bank near Atlanta? I said that after they were caught their parents would most assuredly come up with some excuses such as "they fell into the wrong crowd."
Well ... sure enough, the parents are now busy making excuses for their precious little girls. Joy Miller, the mother of 18-year-old Ashley Miller says that her daughter is sorry. Sorry? Well hell yes she's sorry! She's going to jail! Would she be sorry if she had gotten away with it? Spare me this "she's sorry for what she did" crap. The mother also says her daughter isn't a bandit, she just "fell in with the wrong crowd and made a bad choice." Yeah, mom ... she made the choice to be a bandit. That makes her a bandit. And she didn't fall in with the wrong crowd ... Ashley Miller and her accomplice, Heather Lyn Johnston, ARE the wrong crowd.
How long do you folks think these lovely girls will have to spend in prison? Or do you think they'll end up picking up garbage along the roadway with a little probation to serve?

Deaner's View: They are loose crack whores who need to either be in jail or vanish from the face of the earth. They can only do harm to a society.

FOX News Orlando - Corrina Sullivan

To make this point, I need to divulge a little embarrassing information. I enjoy American Idol. I look forward to Tuesdays and Wednesdays, sitting on the couch with Rachel and watching the average American find stardom and fame through a 3 month long obstacle course of lyrics, criticism and votes. That, however, isn't what this is about. As a result of my love for the show, I have been subjected to something that is reminiscent of nails on a chalkboard. The kind of thing that irritates the hell out of you to the point where you want to take a nailgun, hand it to a loved one, and ask them to methodically punch your head full of nails.

What is it you ask? Corrina Sullivan



Following American Idol is your local Fox News forecast. MyFoxOrlando provides that same sensational Fox News spin, but at the local level. Corrina is one of the fine Fox journalists providing local Orlandoans with the daily goings on at 10pm every evening. Judging by the picture, you are probably thinking...John, you are ridiculous. She seems harmless, even attractive. Oh, but she is so much more, she is evil, and here's why.

Have you ever watched a black comedian give his impression of a white person, or someone doing a satirical imitation of a newscaster. Corrina's presentation of the news is like that, but to the 8th degree. There is nothing natural about her delivery. It is almost as though she is a charicature. Couple that with the unbelievable sensationalism that Fox incorporates into everything they do, and you have quite an unintentional comedy. I encourage you to experience the ridiculousness that is Corrina Sullivan's newscasting. Visit: http://www.myfoxorlando.com and view a recent video.

LAZY BASTARDS

This is why I stopped bogging originally. Everybody loves to add a new post, but nobody comments on anything. That my friends is BORING!! Lazy Bastards!

NBA Widgets

Meet Neal Boortz

Deaner will be bailing on us early to meet his idol, Mr. Neal Boortz...what a typical Republican.

LiveStrong

I was a big fan of the LIVESTRONG movement -- a great fundraising / marketing campaign that swept the country. The yellow silicon bracelets were worn by hundreds of thousand of people following their debut in May of 2004 including Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry, Katie Couric, Matt Damon, and several athletes at the Athens Olympic Games.

The band is part of the "Wear Yellow Live Strong" educational program. The program is intended to raise money for cancer research, raise cancer awareness, and encourage people to live life to the fullest (source: wiki).

"Such visibility and endorsements were the reason that the bands have attained fashionable status — along with a desire to appear charitable" (source: wiki).

That is where the problem lies...giving to this charity became fashionable and has now gone out of style. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing people with their LIVESTRONG bracelets that summer of '04 and it is now extremely rare when you see someone wearing one. Do all of those people who wore their bracelets religiously for the first 6 months not believe in cancer research & awareness anymore? Perhaps the bracelets broke or just became to filthy to wear and the replacement fee of $1 didn't fit into their tight budgets. You have to make a concerted effort to wear it daily for a long period of time and then just take it off to never wear it again.

Daytona 500

Back-to-back wins for El Presidente...off to a great start in '07.

Orbitz 300

Our boy John Adams won the Orbitz 300 on Saturday. Congratulations Mr. Adams.

Common Denominator

No one in Orlando should be surprised by the recent losing streak by the Boston Celtics. The Celts have lost 18 straight games and can match the 19 game streak accomplished by the Magic during the 2003-2004 campaign on February 14 against the Bucks. The common denominator with these two teams is none other than Doc Rivers.

Don't pass up phone tax refund

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070209/COL07/702090426

OK, it's probably a bad idea to try to claim a $30,000 refund for your telephone excise tax. But if you're a senior -- or anyone else who normally doesn't file an income tax return -- you should take advantage of a one-time-only phone refund for 2006. It is easy money -- maybe too easy for the scam artists.

This tax season, most taxpayers can easily qualify for a standard telephone excise tax refund of $60 for a family of four or more, $50 for a family of three, $40 for a family of two or $30 for a single filer.

Just fill out one additional line on the 2006 income tax return to claim the standard refund based on the old excise tax on long-distance service. See line 71 on your 1040, line 9 on the 1040EZ or line 42 on the 1040A. You do not have to itemize to get this refund.

ESPN.com ads

Although I am a proponent of online advertising, I have found the new Circuit City ads in the ESPN Headlines section of espn.com to be very invasive. Thoughts?

Report: Owens fires publicist Etheredge

Under normal circumstances, a professional athlete firing his publicist would not warrant publicizing.

But when the athlete is Terrell Owens, and the publicist is Kim Etheredge, well, it's certainly noteworthy.

The well-publicized Dallas Cowboys receiver, who apparently distanced himself from Etheredge following his September hospitalization for an accidental overdose from prescription painkillers, has fired her, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported Tuesday.

2007 Goals and Resolutions

They say that when you set your goals it's important to write them down...at least Rachel always says that and I believe what she tells me to believe. So, that leads me to share with all of our loyal Bullpen readers, my 2007 goals and resolutions.

1. Work out 4 days a week
2. Take lunch to work to save money
3. Resod the lawn and re-landscape
4. Make my work revenue goal
5. Paint and decorate the office, kitchen, guest bathroom and guest bedroom.
6. Redesign the kitchen

Now that I wrote it down and the millions of readers out there know my goals, then I expect you all to hold me accountable. Let's hear from you all...what are your 2007 goals?

The Birth of a Living Legend

http://www.nebraskapress.unl.edu/books/excerpts/4928.pdf

Joining Byrne’s new venture were some key staffers from the slo-pitch league. Byrne’s right-hand man was David S. Almstead, a business major from Ohio Wesleyan who sold insurance to help put himself through college. Byrne met Almstead when the young man tried out for a kicker position with the Fire. Driving away from the field, Byrne saw one of the hopefuls walking along the road and offered a lift back to the hotel. No, thanks, Almstead declined pleasantly, he’d like to walk. “It was five miles!” Byrne exclaims. He liked Almstead’s gumption, and when Byrne needed help with a professional softball league, he gave Almstead the job. Byrne now tapped Almstead again to help run his new basketball league.

We Are Marshall

I went to watch "We Are Marshall" this weekend. Overall, great movie even though it came in number 3 at the Box Office opening weekend. From what I've heard of Jack Lengyel and only meeting him a few times, I think Matthew McConaughey did a great job of portraying him. It definitely had me wiping my face throughout the whole movie (but probably not for some of you in that bullpen).

I'd rate it 3 out of 5 stars. Two enthusiastic Borat thumbs up!

Fiesta Bowl Highlights